Is the song playing in your head yet?

Where do I begin to tell the story of how GREAT A LOVE CAN BE!! GOD’S SWEEET LOVE STORY ….

This whole page started becuz folks want to see that you are real and can share. It was about books. But NOW, it is about SOOOOO MUCH MORE!!!!

I realize that some of my “followers” (I find that HYLARIOUS!) are only interested in books. I’ll start posting separate blogs labeled “BOOKS”, “Med Update” and “Spiritual Journey” to release those who aren”t interested in the other topics. (Fer dis, I’s gots ‘n injineerin’ degreeee!)

So here goes:

BOOKS: Both Saving Beach Mansion and Final Flight are waiting for my final approval to be published. Medical issues have delayed that, so I am hoping to finalize them in the next few weeks. Both covers are approved, and I am PLEASANTLY SURPRISED at their outcome! (Hate reading a book and realizing the cover has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE BOOK!!!)

I WAS WRONG!!!! THERE IS NO WAY TO SEPARATE MEDICAL FROM PERSONAL FROM SPIRITUAL!!! SO HANG ON!!!

MEDICAL UPDATE: This will be long, sometimes TMI!! I’m trying to copy from a note in my phone I sent as an update /prayer request.

Some of this is INTERESTING! Some scary to those who don’t know me. Some FUNNNNNNNNYYYYYY!!! Some INCREDIBLY INSPIRING!!

Wynne Loveless <wynnermath@me.com>	11:49 PM (5 minutes ago)
to me

Update

Yall got left out of loop! SORRY!

Short version: the blood clot in my spine from July ‘23 really was a tumor : the blood clot just masked it. It is growing and expanded. It is now from my shoulder blades all the way down to my tailbone! Inside multiple vertebrae! It’s causing quite a bit of neurological issues (tremors, PAIN, blurred vision, weakness in hips/legs) so surgery will be Wednesday to get this thing out of me

If it was gonna kill me, I’d be DEAD by now!!

Surgery scheduled:

Surgery is scheduled for Wednesday morning, April 23. I have to be at the Medical City FW hospital at 05 30 (Actually got moved to Tues, 22nd, which MADE ME GLAD!!!! Dramatic deterioration over weekend!!)

BTW: We went to Texas De Brazil for my “last meal” Monday nite. It was originally scheduled for Dec 28th for our 40th anniversary dinner, but I ended up in the hospital! RUDE OF ME!

GORGING ON MEAT THE NIGHT BEFORE SURGERY PROBLY NOT THE BEST PLAN, BUT IT WAS GOOD!! OUTRAGEOUSLY EXPENSIVE! LARRY CAN COOK THOSE PIECES JUST AS WELL!!!! IT’s all about the AMBIENCE! The service was STELLAR!! I’m in a wheelchair, and they were most gracious and accommodating!

The PLAN:

(Some of this may be repetitive: sorry: too much trouble to navigate back and forth to fix!)

Dr Lapsiwala will not be exercising the tumor at the base of my tailbone. He said that one will probably need radiation. He’s gonna be working on the lumbar part above the previous incision & scar tissue damage .

I will probably be in the hospital for several days and then probably in rehab for two weeks. Medicare covers three weeks. We’ll see what happens. (I was approved on May 6th to stay til May 21st if necessary. Peace of mind for my family. I WILL NOT BE GOING TO AN ASSISTED LIVING FACILITY, but those of you who know me know I’d never submit to that anyway: THEY WON’T LET ME BRING MY KITTIES!!!)

I am at perfect PEACE with this plan. I’m ready to get this show on the road and get the stupid tumor out of me. SLAY THIS DRAGON!!

SIDE NOTE: Getting my “ducks in a row” and realizing they are SWARMING PIGEONS!!!)After spending a few hours on the phone and on the Internet, I was able to cancel all of our GLORIOUS May Florida trip plans to swim w/manatees & dolphins with no difficulty: all refunds no cost, but I’m so glad I got trip insurance! Warning: Yankee Ferry to Dry Tortugas (for my history buff hubby) : all sales final; no refunds. BUT…. when I called, they said I could send a Dr’s note and they’d refund. Who’s really gonna read that Drs note??!!? (I’m a teacher! I know!) Letter on the way from Dr. (Got the letter from his sweet staff Wed nite: sent to Yankee Ferry and AA.com to get full refunds (not just flight vouchers!) DONE ! All refunds should be in our accts w/in next week! Amazing the things you can get done while lying in a hospital bed w/a laptop! )

Will update as things go along.

Not sharing on FB: dont want folks accidentally praying me into the grave!!

This ornery old lady still has WORK TO DO FOR THE KINGDOM!

Surgery update Tues Apr 22, 2025:

Surgery really WAS today! (Dont ask! Chaos was annoying but GLAD it was Tuesday cuz neurology issues escalated!) Had my BRILLIANT HUBBY not said, “Let’s swing by the Dr’s office to make sure!” on the way to Texas de Brazil, at 4:52 Monday when nobody would ANSWER to let me know if it was really Wed or Tues (multiple text reminders from hospital made it clear it was gonna be Tues, but surgeon’s office said Wed! Got it in writing!! I’m DEAF. ALL CALLS ARE CAPTIONED!) Anyway, Larry stopped at surgeon’s office, Joy ran in and Facetimed so I could get an answer: “YES, TOMORROW!”

I WOULD HAVE MISSED MY SURGERY!!

Surgical Report: Tues, Apr 22, 2025

Removed some blood clots and some firm white substance in several pieces. Sent to lab for checking. Didn’t look like cancer to Doctors but doesn’t look right.

Sending it off: DE JA VU!! No results expected for 2 weeks. In Rehab, so not like it matters or I’m going anywhere!

Interesting!! My assessment:

White chocolate that dark chocolate has imprisoned in my spine for being FAKE!!

Awoke well. Little pain: just UNCOMFORTABLE all over from lying flat! Acid burns on cheeks from intubation tape! I intend to have a personal conversation w/the anesthetist to TEACH her and prevent that from EVER HAPNIN to another patient! Three cleft kids: lotsa tape over the years: no tears!!! One drop of vaseline or baby oil (best, but hospitals don’t allow.) WAIT!! Usually, the tape will slide right off! If not, repeat, use a vaselined qtip to roll under corners of tape, and GENTLY remove. NEVER AN EXCUSE FOR THE BLISTERS ON BOTH CHEEKS AND CHIN!!! HUGE BLISTER ON CHIN started weeping everywhere at 0200. No pain, but NOT ACCEPTABLE!!

Waking up, dreamed 3 movies of book series of follow up of Christian romance suspense novels to accompany Saving Beach Mansion! Hope I can recapture! Thot I was done writing!

Lost all feeling & movement in left leg (which has a titanium hip that hates me already!) Slowly regaining tonite. I THINK I’M GOING TO ASK FOR A REFUND ON THAT HIP, LOL!

Staff @ MEDICAL CITY FORT WORTH HAVE ALL BEEN PHENOMENAL THRUOUT MY PAST 7 YEARS OF AFIB & TUMOR ISSUES!!!

KIND! COMPASSIONATE! COMPETENT!!

COMMUNICATIVE!!! (Remember I’m deaf now!)

Side note: Harris (12 days last Dec/Jan from fall cuz of “flu” I never had symptoms for & they barely treated w/one bag antibiotics! It was really UTI they never even tested for!!) Care was mediocre (nurses good; hospitalists not so much!) w/poor communication & HORRIBLY DISGUSTING FOOD!

MCFW GOURMET MEALS!! Communicate and specialize. And THANK YOU, JESUS, NOT THE CARDIAC NO TASTE FARE! When the steroids make me “diabetic,” they let me know what I can’t have.

For those of you who don’t know, steroids SCREW UP YOUR BLOOD SUGAR!!! Not worried: no biggie; they’re giving my insulin to balance it and I know it’ll “come out in the wash” in a week or so when they reduce the steroid dosage and my body flushes that poison that’s helping the swelling from surgery.

MCFW HOSPITAL OF CHOICE!!!

Family finally breathing sigh of relief somewhat! They have suffered far more than I watching my scary decline!

Mind ok, tho slow (Stop laughing!!! I taught JUNIOR HIGH!!), but body was deteriorating dramatically!!

Expecting recovery of much now that pressure off spinal cord. We’ll see & WORK for it! (tho nerve damage, medically speaking, doesn’t recover well w/o THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB & THE WORD OF MY TESTIMONY THAT ABBA FATHER, DADDY GOD THE GREAT I AM IS GOOD & JESUS IS MY JEHOVAH RAPHA HEALER, JEHOVAH NISSI, MY BANNER BEARER IN THIS FIGHT; MY JEHOVAH SHALOM, THE PEACE THAT PASSES ALL UNDERSTANDING CUZ I TRUST HIM! JESUS IS MY REDEEMER! RESTORER! DELIVERER & WE WILL PREVAIL BOTH HERE & ETERNALLY !)

MOVED TO REHAB: Although BSW REHAB was GREAT last time, my surgeon does not have access to me there, and my coverage is 100% here, so NO BRAINER: STAYIN’!!!

PT facilities and staff BEST ON THE PLANET!! Have and have shared some ideas to make even better. They like my ideas! I’ll share later.

REHAB UPDATE: Grueling cuz body tires easily, but well-planned and spaced to maximize growth. EXCEPTIONAL PT & OT staff: Danielle and Natalie!!! (Several other helpers, but these are my MAIN GIRLS!)

I’m learning to LISTEN TO MY BODY! When I feel the fatigue that would make me fall, I STOP AND REST!! (I’m an ADD HYPER CHILD, so that’s A BIG DEAL!!)

Honestly, the TINNITUS FREIGHT TRAIN ROAR in my head is more of a hindrance to my rehab than my lower body muscles and nerves!! It’s like a huge weight on my head that feels like it’s gonna EXPLODE!! Not a headache: just overwhelming NOISE distorting vision and all balance and robbing me of stamina! (and yes, I’ve tried every great “fix” on FB or ….. and from audiologists. One wants to introduce “white noise”!)

“Ma’am, I already have 5 different noises in my head: freight train/transformer buzz, high pitched whistle, cicadas chirping occasionally, etc “(the bassoon ditty blog is interesting. That has actually stopped!)

I DO NOT WANT ANOTHER NOISE IN MY HEAD!!!!!!

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!?!?

PT is different every day, of course. Some days better than others. Fatigue in legs, hips and back keep me from standing more than 32 seconds on my own! Getting UP is the hardest part: have to have hands, feet in exactly the right position to convince my body to LIFT UP! BUTT UP or hips give and back into wheelchair! NOT GOOD! Learning to outsmart body!

Transferring (from bed to chair or chair to walker or pedaler) is iffy:

I cannot move my legs by myself!! Literally must be lifted into the bed and I drag them out of the bed to hang off side to get up!

Sometimes my right leg will MARCH or swivel as asked (Yes, I literally talk out loud to my feet to tell them what to do!) ; sometimes, it is rebellious, as I confess I have been most of my life! When it won’t move right, I reach down and move it (remember, I cant bend, twist, etc after surgery, so just reach to the back of my dead thigh* (Nerve conduction test in March showed NO CONDUCTION AT ALL ON BACK OF EITHER LEG!! Slow on top/thighs, poor on feet, sides of legs. ). But WAIT!! I don’t have the balance or strength to do that, so the PT girls have to shove my foot where it belongs (gently, of course!)

Walking: UP with walker. Once up, I can go anywhere from 12′ to 41′, depending on fatigue. I don’t FEEL my legs! It’s like walking 0n fence posts! I know they’re there, but ….My feet have been numb since the week before the first surgery in Sept ’23, so finding the ground is quite interesting! I have to LOOK at where my feet are getting out of vehicle or bed or chair, cuz I can barely feel the ground beneath my feet! (another song?!)

Pedaling is my FRIEND!!! Requires PUSH with legs and continued growth. Set at 3, pedal for 10 min. Used arms, too, y’day.

May 6th: MUCH STRONGER!!!! Walking further (50′) before fatigue says STOP! Standing in cool brace machine that lets me do puzzles, non-reaching activities (trying to be good and not reach, twist, bend!), etc. Gotta figure out how to get some of these pix uploaded. Leg lift exercises w/weights and bands (funny the things we do daily w/o thinking, TILL YOU CAN’T DO THEM ANYMORE!!!)

VICTORY!!!! I was able to get my legs back into bed by myself today!!!! Slow, steady, wore me out, BUT I DID IT!!!

I’m learning a cool trick to keep from letting gravity win in bed. If they tilt my head all the way down, there’s a bar at the top that I grab and pull myself as far up as possible. Remember, I’ve torn both rotators in falls, so my arms only do so much, and my butt weighs about 100 pounds and has NO FEELING AT ALL and won’t lift, so it’s a challenge. I bend my knees, PUSH back, wiggle my butt, pull on top bar and MAKE IT!! Except Natalie told me today to STOP DOING THAT so I don’t strain my back and do damage!! Rats! Learning to get my butt as far toward head of bed as possible when I climb back in bed. It works.

SMALL VICTORIES MATTER!!!!!

Sleep is elusive. Short naps between finger sticks (blood sugar all over the place cuz of steroids! Not worried! Will settle out in another week as they eliminate steroids.), rippling nerve pain attacks (that are NOT AS INTENSE OR AS LONG, THANK YOU JESUS!! ) , and just general wakefulness. I SLEEP HARD AND WAKE HARD!! Slow waking. Need drink cuz mouth so dry I can’t breathe. (Mouth breather, I guess)

Today, the CNA was ALARMED cuz my blood sugar was 59 and she couldn’t wake me! Finally got me awake and told me to drink apple juice and eat my strawberries. (I’m officially HOOKED ON STRAWBERRIES!!! Ask for them every meal! But wonder if they’re causing some of the diarrhea?)

I sat up, drank, ate, etc. Told her I’m FINE and FEEL IT when my body is in HYPOGLYCEMIA.

Funny story: I actually passed out at the counter of the PO New Year’s Eve ’23! Felt it coming: asked “who has a candy cane? My blood sugar’s dropping!” Next thing I know, there are three men standing behind me holding me up while the PO clerk looks like he’s about to FREAK! Ambulance came; lady gave me a peppermint; under my tongue; FINE by the time EMT’s got to me, but went on to hospital so Joy wouldn’t freak. (As if either going or not going would be best for her! Next time, refuse treatment, sit in truck til recover fully, then go home!)

I have had a few 6 hour nights. Since I’m naturally a nite owl, 0200 to 0715 is a pretty good stretch for me! They bring breakfast at 715 (BACON!!!! Hard boiled egg; English muffin; Almond milk, hot tea), and I barely have time to eat, go to the bathroom (remember, that’s a slow process, tho cathing is quick and easy. Gotta get out of diaper and shorts, cath, replace diaper (and no, I don’t mind calling a diaper a diaper! It is what it is! IIWII!) and shorts and hope my body doesn’t want to POOP, cuz that’s a 45 min WAIT FOR GRAVITY ordeal! ) before they come for me for first session! I think I’ll set my alarm for 0615 so I don’t waste PT time peeing and pooping!

HOT SHOWERS ARE THE BEST!!!!! Slow process. Proper tools, but OH I LOVE SCALDING SHOWERS!!!! And therein lies another problem I must be careful of: Since I don’t FEEL my legs and feet, I could easily SCALD THEM! So I have to adjust the water to what’s my fave “scald” level for my head and chest, them go from there.

But the shower WEARS ME OUT! Sucks all the energy out of me!

We did a bit more work afterwards (Shower is actually part of OT: what you do on a daily basis), but I was SPENT and didn’t get much more done. (I was so tired, I honestly can’t even remember what we did!)

I have learned what songs go with which exercises to pace them properly w/o having to count and be bored. I sing out loud. Poor folks! I try to sing quietly, but I’M DEAF, so I HAVE NO IDEA HOW LOUD I AM!!! (I’ve advised them to give me the quiet down hand signal if needed, but nobody seems to mind.) Y’day, my sub PT told me I needed to save my oxygen for exercises. Was that a polite way of saying, “SHUT UP!!” ??? She’d already put me in a hallway away from everybody! LOL!

Pedaling, as I said, IS MY FRIEND. But do you have any idea how BORING it is to pedal for 12 minutes?!?! Not for this crazy lady! I use it as my prayer time. I actually pray out loud for the facility, the staff, the patients, etc, then my family (my SIL fell and broke her shoulder and nose the day I had surgery!!!!) , pastors, missionaries, rescues, water wells, etc. and today, one of the PT staff that I’ve never worked with came and sat in front on my pedaler as I prayed. She stayed there the whole time, as if my prayers were healing balm to her. GOD IS DOING AMAZING THINGS HERE!!!

And of course, I sing! Scripture songs from the 80’s CFNI and Melendez Bible Study! Some hymns. I’ve never had a great voice, but I sing tenor (cuz it’s more fun to sing w/the guys!) and harmonize well. Since I’m deaf now, all music is JUST IN MY HEAD AND HEART, but IT’S THERE!!!!!!

And of course, there are some songs that touch me more than others.

REDEEMED: I can see Marie Jackson, the lady who taught me almost everything I know about polyticks and spreadsheets, my BEST FRIEND for 40+ years, who went HOME Jan ’24, sitting at the piano, enraptured in the song, BEAMING up at me as she sings, “REDEEMED! REDEEMED! REDEEMED BY THE BLOOD OF THE LAMB!”

AS A DEER: My college bestie, Shelly Sue Smith Morales, the most kind, non-judgmental, compassionate, POWERFUL WARRIOR WOMAN I’ve ever known, EMBODIED THAT SONG!!! Her whole life was WORSHIP IN SERVICE!!! She went HOME Cinco de Mayo ’23. (Yes, this week has been milestone week!) She and I wrote a second verse to AS A DEER, and as I sing it, I lose it every time! My PT Natalie was worried that I was crying at the end of the exercise, concerned that I was in pain. NOT AT ALL, JUST GLORYING IN THE GREAT PRIVILEGE OF HAVING BEEN SHELLY’S FRIEND!!

Most of my tears these days are happy, grateful tears! Sooooo many have poured sooooo MUCH into my life, IT’S OVERWHELMING!!!

2nd verse we wrote (1st verse is Ps 42: 1-2)

“You’re my Friend and You Are My Brother, even thought YOU ARE A KING!

I want you more than any other, so much more than anything!

I was born JUST TO WORSHIP YOU! TO WORSHIP YOU ALONE!!

NOW I COME INTO YOUR PRESENCE AND I BOW BEFORE YOUR THRONE!”¹

And that’s exactly what she’s doing now!!!!

I’ll post a different blog titled SHELLY’S MANTLE that I feel free to share now that I’ve shared w/her precious husband, Joe. There is some repetitively redundant stuff in that, too, but separating medical and spiritual in IMPOSSIBLE!!! Probly cuz GOD IS THE GREAT PHYSICIAN!!!

Starting a new thread is hard, so this till just continue to get longer.

Thurs, May 8th: Gonna post Wed’s update, cuz nothing earthshaking today except 52′ walk and glutes firing HARD! Did 3-30 second marching exercises while sitting. Lifting right foot DIDN’T HAPPEN LAST WEEK! Now, I can lift it a few inches as I march, and have to make myself not kick, cuz that’s cheating!

NATALIE IS TEACHING ME TO PACE MYSELF AND NOT OVERDO SO THAT MY MUSCLE FATIGUE STOPS ME!

Wed PT Update I sent out on text update to folks:

Pedaled 12 min on 2.

Did stand and reach and arm weights.

Did stand and step exercises w/2″ step: TOO EZ! Did 3″ step and made almost all 5 before right foot dragged.

VERY GOOD PT TODAY ALL THREE TIMES!!

MUCH STRONGER!!

Walked 51′, then 42′ after other exercises took their toll.

Beginning to FEEL things I haven’t felt in ages!! Can’t really describe, but tingling in places that have been DEAD for over a year!

Dem DRY BONES COMIN’ BACK TO LIFE!! RESURRECTION POWER!!!