I waited to post till I had some GOOD NEWS! That was several weeks ago, and today marked the bifurcation (had to look up the proper spelling for that!) of a long, bumpy road!
MRI: I’ve NEVER hurt so badly!!! The angle they had my hips was EXCRUCIATING! Not their fault: wedge to alleviate pain from scoliosis/lying on back was too high this time (used it several times before w/no issues!) and knees trapped against top of tube. (If you’ve never had an MRI, the tube is SMALL, and your nose is literally an inch from it!!! Good thing I usually sleep thru it! Not claustrophobic, but WOW!!!) Cried, prayed and sang to myself (not aloud) the whole time. Once again, Julie Andrews/Rogers & Hammerstein “My Favorite Things” played in my head. Did I tell you I wrote her an encouraging thank you note after one MRI that her song played in my head? She sent back an autographed pic! To ME!!! Hangs on my wall by other important pix!
Oncologist: Nothing they can do to help me: MRI report: just fibrous (not fibroid, as I was led to believe and wasted time on phone w/2 diff fibroid expert clinics!) scar tissue. Radiation not an option, and could make it worse. (Don’t ask how?!?!)
He called my neurosurgeon, who agreed that further surgery was not a viable, helpful solution. Referring back to pain Dr for SCS.
Today: SCS surgery: Once again, the light at the end of the tunnel was AN ONCOMING TRAIN!!!!!!
Neurological issues dramatically escalating in past few weeks. More NPA’s; tremors; vision issues; no sleep cuz awoken by NPA’s every 45 min! Can’t sit for more than an hour w/o retiring to my recliner in PAIN!
IV was quick and EZ! Amy was AWESOME!!! That’s usually the hardest part!!
Anesthesia in arm/IV was HORRIFIC BURNING!!!! SCREAMING “STOP IT!” so they gassed me, too. Grateful for that mercy! Never been that bad before! Even “volcanic eruption in arm” of cardiac nuclear chemicals not that bad!
Report from pain Dr: “Surgery failed. Can’t get leads placed properly (stenosis and scoliosis and scar tissue!). Go back to spine surgeon to trim area for leads.”
BUT… Neurosurgeon already said, “NO MORE!”
Woke terribly slowly from anesthesia (as have in past 3 surgeries!). Arms were numb for hours!!!! Mind awake; body rebelled! Finally left surgical center at 1800 (surgery scheduled for 1315 didn’t start till 1436 according to clock on OR wall!) 37 min surgery; 3 hrs in recovery! Hate the way surgical centers send you home before you’re really awake and safe! Awake and fine by time got home: ate leftover Mexican food from last nite, but way too salty! (couldn’t eat last night: hurt too much! But had time w/Army girl in town for training!), drank hot chocolate and hot Alwazah tea w/mint. Sugar way high! 3 days w/o cinnamon cuz of surgery.
Pain this evening minimal. Maybe anesthesia abating somewhat.
RFA: Radio frequency ablation: heat to pulverize scar tissue and cauterize nerves. I asked my pain Dr about that last week, and he advised it’d have to be redone almost every 6 months to be effective, so SCS best option. At this point, LET’S TRY RFA!!!! Calling tmor to ask.
For those of you worried about my mental health (Remember, I taught junior high for years, so that’s questionable anyway!!!!), although I’m frustrated and TIRED, I’m really not too terribly surprised! This is my body, after all, and it’s been rebelling for quite a while! I joke about rusty hacksaws and recip saws being the best solution, but they’re way too messy! Know several who have lost family members to suicide, and would NEVER CONSIDER DOING THAT TO MY FAMILY!!! (and that’s not being judgmental of those who chose that route: I know that, by that point, they are no longer themselves!) The trauma left behind is HORRIFIC! But I will admit that I’ve given them permission to “LET ME GO HOME!” if anything happens.
BOOKS:
Read Final Flight cover to cover to find mistakes. Replaced several overused verbs. Sent my SPOTLESS copy to my HS bestie/Salutatorian, a 3x published author, and to my college suitemate. Both very astute writers. Not even messing w/publisher’s editorial team! Once I get SPOTLESS copy back from both of them (I’m certain they’ll still find mistakes!), I’ll send it to publisher to print as is! Guess I oughta answer editor’s email from 2 weeks ago to tell him, that, huh?! (I’m so bad, I just copied and pasted this paragraph to him!)
Finally plugged in external disk drive (bought it five plus years ago after a techie friend saved them from antiquedom!) and inserted Living Again, the “diary” I would’ve written about my Jonathan if I’d been a diary writer. (And now I’m a blogger! See why I never diaried??!? Lol!)
Enjoying reading his story! Wrote as VERY MEDICAL Christian romance, but this couple barely meets till Ch 8, so no publishers would even consider! So much background on their medical kids to create the story behind the story/romance. One publisher even suggested I write for a medical journal! Lol!! Just a mom of a special needs kid telling his story!
What blew me away was the little girl I wrote about. She’s real: I met this precocious princess w/craniofacial microsomia at our Craniofacial Christmas party 30 years ago (about when I wrote Living Again!). But craniofacial microsomia is OUR JOY’S DIAGNOSIS due to Fetal Alcohol Syndrome!!! Twenty (20) yrs later, we see and choose to adopt a Vietnamese girl whose diagnosis we didn’t know, just because we saw her in a Show Hope ad and KNEW SHE WAS OUR DAUGHTER!! Bawling realizing God’s sense of humor and timing!
So now I have another dilemma: Pirated Plot, Trust and Forgive, & Living Again all need to be published! Guess I’ll explore Amazon publishing, since others are too expensive. Don’t want to spend kids’ inheritance publishing books that may or may not ever really sell. Knowing the market now, Final Flight is most likely to “make it,” then Trust and Forgive. Wrote Saving Beach Mansion as a tribute to my hometown and parents/grandparents, but probly limited audience outside Texas Gulf Coast. Who knows? Lots EMS, so maybe ……?
Can’t go HOME till books done. Not interested in writing any more: enjoy writing, and they just “happen” as I start writing (pantser, no planning!), but getting them published is a PAIN IN THE REAR (And I, of all people, KNOW what a PAIN IN THE REAR really is!!! Lol!)
So now you know “THE REST OF THE STORY,” but not really, cuz it’s an ongoing saga of drama!! Hoping for more answers soon on all fronts. Will blog again when I have something significant to share.
Oh, and family Thanksgiving was VERY DIFFERENT w/Mama gone HOME. Olive Garden w/everyone (so GLAD THEY ALL CAME!!!! Including a nephew we haven’t seen in 2 yrs!) (Food was mediocre: we’re SPOILED ON VILLA DIANNA! Service was good!) Ok, everyone but our Army girl, who’s here this week for training, so we’re having another family dinner w/her this week. San Antonio family won’t be able to make it. Sad.
Remember that JESUS IS THE ENTIRE REASON FOR THE SEASON OF CHRISTMAS! REMEMBER AND HONOR HIM ABOVE ALL ELSE!
Wynne Loveless Writes 